It is No Longer I Who Lives...

...but Christ who lives in me." Galatians 2:20

I had anticipated Monday (Feb 16, 2009)to be a day of visit. A day to help and maybe get in a short little chat. I never expected what the Lord had planned for me.

Grandma, also know as Abu, to my children lived in an assisted living home for many years. The kids and I would visit when we could and I always kept tabs on her through my mom. She was a woman of deep faith, humility and meekness. She loved all unconditionally and never spoke ill of anyone, ever! She had many hardships and losses throughout her life, but was never bitter or angry. She depended on Our Lord for strength, support and to fill her needs. Her faith never wavered! If I could only live to be a fraction of what Grandma was.

The wet Monday morning brought us to her bedside. She had recently been in the hospital, but was now home and much more comfortable. We knew that it was just a matter of time, but I didn't expect it to be so soon. We arrived just before lunch time at the home. My Aunt was there and said that Grandma had eaten breakfast. She was too tired to bath in the shower, so the hospice nurse bathed her in bed. She quietly slipped into a light sleep, then we arrived. I was happy to see her again, at home. She looked peaceful and was praying her rosary (an activity that she constantly did.) I said hello and she opened her eyes then lazily closed them. That would be the last time I saw those serene and lovely eyes. Soon after that, she quietly slipped into the arms of Our Lord and Lady. I will miss her greatly.

Over the years I realized that she was the model for me to live by. She lived her faith until the end. As St Francis said, "Preach the Gospel always, when necessary, use words." Grandma lived the Gospels. As time went on, dementia took over and all that was left was a frail frame that fingered her beads.

She became empty of herself as the dementia took hold, yet her prayers, her faith and her rosary were in the forefront of her draining memory. Dementia, hence became a blessing. Through this disease, she was able to glorify God. Slowly she became less and less of herself and, through prayer, was filled more and more with the graces of God . As John 3:30 says " He must increase, but I must decrease." Grandma gave up her mind and her body to Christ.







4 Generations
Mom, Carolyn, Savanna and Abu (2005)





In our lives, we are given the choice to acquire blessings or curses. Many times it may seem that we are cursed because of our circumstances, but I have learned that when we learn to carry the crosses we have been given, we gather much grace. I learned this watching Grandma through the past years.

Grandma will always be in my heart and I know that she is still praying for me in heaven.